Examples of assertive communication: how to improve for work

We all want to be assertive in our communication, confidently defend our position and openly express our feelings, whether it’s to decline an invitation or to confront a co-worker. However, although it seems, communicating in this way is not easy.

The truth is, many people are struggling to be assertive because it’s hard to know where the line is between looking too strong or aggressive or looking weak and insecure.

The tips we have prepared for you can help you improve your communication so that you feel more comfortable talking and defending yourself whenever necessary.

Assertiveness in communication: what is assertiveness

Assertiveness is a skill that relies heavily on effective communication while respecting the thoughts, desires and opinions of others.

Assertive people communicate clearly and respectfully their desires, emotions, thoughts, needs, positions and limits to others. They leave no doubt about your position, whatever the subject.

People with a high level of assertiveness do not shy away from defending their views or goals and tend to try to influence others to see their side. They are also generally open to praise and constructive criticism.

It is possible to improve assertiveness through practical exercises and experience.

If you’re still in college and you’re about to start your first job, you’re at the perfect time to start working on this skill.

Plan responses in advance

Do you usually answer “yes” to what is asked of you without thinking about the question first? If you tend to do this even when you want to say ‘no’, we recommend you to use some phrases like:

•  “Let me come back to you about that.”
• “I need to check my schedule.”
• “I already have plans in the schedule for that day/time.”
• “I won’t make it, because I already have plans.”

If you decide to say that you need to check a few things before giving an answer, make sure you actually give an answer.

Above all, remember that you are not required to explain why a request or invitation was refused.

Start by practicing with people you know, at home, at college or at the student residence in Lisbon where you live, and then at work.

Don’t let the guilt overtake you

If you feel guilty about asserting yourself and saying what you want, think and feel, remember that saying no to a request doesn’t mean you’re rejecting the person – let alone mistreating them!

Incorporates an assertive posture

Communication is not just verbal. Before entering a stressful situation or a difficult conversation, adopt an assertive body posture that makes you feel more confident and secure.

Stand up, open your chest, put your shoulders back and lift your head. Maintains eye contact and a neutral facial expression.

Set limits

Remember that assertiveness and aggression are different things.

Assertiveness means declaring your needs or requests respectfully and within your limits.

If setting limits seems aggressive or uncomfortable to you, consider the following scenario: Your boss is constantly giving you tasks without seeming to care if you can take on more projects.

An aggressive response would be to blow him up in a meeting or demand that someone else does the work for you.

An assertive response, on the other hand, would be to schedule a meeting with your boss to politely state the situation and to discuss a new task assignment system or find ways to better delegate responsibilities.

Types of assertive communication at work

Maintaining assertive communication at work can be very challenging.

Learning to be assertive takes time, self-control and confidence. Here are the 5 types of assertive communication at work that will help you develop your assertiveness skills and improve your performance at work. When you feel that you communicate well and that your needs are heard, you automatically become more productive and organised.

Be careful with your tone of voice

It’s not just what you say that matters, but how you say it.

Keep your tone of voice and body language open and warm. When preparing for a social interaction, think about your body language and how you can show that everything is fine. Pay special attention to your facial expressions, arms and posture.

Think everyone wins

Try not to assume that the other person is trying to harm you or belittle you. Even if she is, don’t treat her badly and don’t walk away from the conversation. Offer solutions and ask them  to help you reach a consensus.